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Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Static Distortion Presents: Digital Diktator


BIO:It all began a few years ago, late 2009 i think, according to your calendar, when I, The Diktator, from the Omicron Theta system, got really, really bored. Thus, I decided that it was time to leave my own homeworld and venture into the farthest distances of the universe,to a planet, where, according to an ancient legend, all hell is breaking loose on a daily basis. 
Whilst i was awake the first few years of my travels, because i really hate the cryo process, spending most of my time working on audio spells and chants, i believed that for me to reach the destination in my lifetime, i will inevitably have to give in and freeze myself.
So, as I was drifting on through space, I decided to take a last day off on the beautiful beaches of a deserted planet in the middle of nowhere, before going into cryogenic sleep. As soon as I landed, a strange creature offered me some cocktails and started to talk about weird things. He introduced himself as Rösti the Conquerer, and decided that the space craft I arrived in was now his, him being the captain. I tried to convince him otherwise, but failed miserably, so i decided to take him with me, calling him "Captain", as it was the easier way around.
Rösti turned out to be a nice touch to my cosmic sounds, as he was used to play a guitar-like instrument, which he made out of hair attached to a piece of wood he found when he got deserted for, apparently, being extremely annoying.
After two nights of constant meditation and musical experimentation it was time to move on. Therefore, I locked unto the coordinates and set the autopilot to safely land on the planet upon arrival, while Rösti was ordered to program the cryo chambers to start revitalization upon landing, and furthermore, to activate the ship‘s ground defenses. After everything was completed, we engaged the cryogenic procedure.
As we awoke, we came out of our chambers, and soon noticed that we were moving in hyperspace, so we accessed the cryo system computer to check the ship‘s travel log. It showed that the ship had already been to the set destination and was now on a new course, away from the planet. Furthermore, we found out that "the Captain must have made a mistake" with setting the time for the cryogenic revitalization process a week too late, while completely forgetting to activate the defense systems. So, we cautiously made our way towards the bridge, as we started hearing mysterious chants getting louder and louder. We realized somebody was singing to our previous recordings.
As the door opened and we entered the bridge, we saw a male specimen of seemingly humanoid origins. He gave us a confused look, raised his hand in a strange gesture and mumbled something like " Live Long And Proper ".... Assuming this was his home planet‘s greeting, we replied with the same gesture and asked what he was doing on our ship. He replied that his name was Matt, and that he was on a walk through the woods, when he found a seemingly abandoned spacecraft and decided to enter. He apparently called out in hope of an answer but after a few minutes of complete silence, he made his way through the ship.
A few corridors down, he stumbled upon an empty control bridge. He looked around, and was ready to leave when the onboard computer asked him where he wanted to go. Being sick and tired of his world, called Earth, he asked the computer if it would be possible to leave and go somewhere else. To his surprise, all systems started going online, and the ship took off.
After a few days have passed, he started to explore the systems via the onboard voice activation system, and came across a file with the title " Sound Experiments ". He accessed the file and after hearing the sonic movement of sound particles he was compelled to sing along. A few minutes after that we entered the bridge.
We told him to show off his skills and after hearing what he had to offer, made him our accomplice. Now, WE embark on a journey of Weirdness, Depression, Sex, Drugs, Murder, Hatred and Love.... The path is long, but we shall be successful. And as soon as we arrive through the hyperspace gate into your orbit, we shall all rejoice whilst listening to the sounds of etherial frequencies from the Omicronian planes and Multiversial poems from the infernal abyss of Absu. Mankind must now gaze into the shifting sky, and know enlightenment, for the ones of whom you do not speak, are returning!!!!!!! Patience children!!!! First signals will be approaching soon....

Exp........of hu..nity..........co.....ous...for....pla..tary...........adv..ce...... no clue? then you are not meant to know, so don‘t bother!!!

Eterna Illuminatus!!!!



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